This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy.
If you go to any major city in China, you will invariably run into the foreign man-Chinese woman pairings in any major tourist or shopping destination; not so with foreign women and Chinese men.
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There are hardly enough books depicting foreign women with Chinese boyfriends or husbands. West Wind Buck, Pearl S. Oriental Novels of Pearl S.
Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: When you have a Chinese husband or boyfriend, sometimes you feel as if you belong to a lonely club.
One of my dearest e-mail friends, a woman from Germany, once found me on the net because she had a — then — Chinese boyfriend and yearned to find someone to share her experience with. So I began to wonder — why are there so few Chinese guys and foreign girls becoming couples?
Of course, some of it has its roots in the usual stereotypes — stereotypes in the Western World. Rarely have they been depicted with traditionally masculine traits. Lacking machismo, they almost never get the girl. However, the subtext is often that foreign women are a dangerous choice — too casual, the temptress, etc — or could not accept a Chinese way of life.
Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair. There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me.
Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.
Fortunately, their ideas changed when they met me in person! On the other hand, there are Chinese men — and their families — who would be happy to have a foreign woman in the family.
But there are other complications. For example, my good friend in Hangzhou, Xiao Yu, once told me that some Chinese men cannot overcome their feeling of inferiority — that being an American girl, a citizen of one of the most powerful countries in the world, made my presence somewhat intimidating. According to Xiao Yu, some Chinese men could never believe that such a girl would become their one and only.
And then there are the more unmentionable reasons. A driver who took me to the Beijing Airport this summer admitted he once had a Russian girlfriend when he was a college student. But he said he was never able to satisfy her yes, in that wayso they parted. The experience was so traumatic that he never sought another foreign girlfriend again.
On the flip side, I suspect that some foreign women might be unwilling to give Chinese men a chance because of money.As we begin to formulate a manifesto around the reinvigoration of masculinity, I believe that we, and society as a whole, need to devote a solid plank in our platform to white knight r-bridal.com put, I have come to believe that white knighting is the single biggest problem with modern men.
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